In Memory of...My Sister, Gail

Twelve Years ago today - in the evening hours, Gail passed away.  She was 47 years old.  She left behind her husband, John; mother, Mary; two sisters, Jan & Barb, many nieces & nephews and friends.

GONE TOO SOONGail and I always celebrated our Birthdays together.  Hers was October 12, 1952.  I was the first-born child in our family and I was born on October 8th, 1949.  We were 3 years and 4 days apart, so it was convenient to have our Birthday... celebrations on the same day.  We celebrated 47 birthdays together and then she was gone. 
For many, many years, Gail had been treated for Fibromyalgia - all the symptoms she had didn't all fit any other category, so the Doctors decided that was what she had.  She dieted, watched what she ate and didn't touch desserts.  Sometimes she looked like she starved herself.  I encouraged her to eat...and she just wrinkled her nose the way she always did and that was that.
By mid-March of 2000, some of the symptoms she had previously were getting worse, so the Doctors decided more tests should be scheduled.   A week or so later, near the end of March, she called me to say that the Doctors - in one of the tests - had found a mass.  That's all she said, well, other than she had to have some other things done and then have surgery, which was scheduled for about 10 days later - sometime before the 15th of April.  She never wanted to know more than she needed to know, so she didn't ask the doctors many questions.  And she and her husband didn't want to talk about it with anyone either.  

(beginning clockwise with the upper left photo is Gail &her husband, John; Gail & Me; Gail, holding her nephew, Bradley; Gail & John; Gail)

The surgery day arrived and I was at the hospital with other family members.  By then, we knew that the mass was in her colon and it could be a polyp, a tumor and it could be benign or cancerous.  The Doctor had given us a time frame of about 3-4 hours for surgery and recovery before Gail would be back in her room.  We would be updated if timing changed.  While everyone else went for breakfast and coffee, I remained behind...thinking I might be needed earlier than what the Doctor had planned.  And, I was glad I did.  Because, less than an hour and a half later, Gail was wheeled back into her room and I was the only one there.  I was speaking to the nurse outside her room, when Gail started calling "Mommy"!...so I told the nurse to call the others and I went into the room to see if I could help my sister.
Gail was all doped up and kind of drifted in and out and was pulling up her gown, to see what they did to her.  I don't think she even realized what she was doing.  When she did, I saw a huge long incision (much different than what the Doctor had told us to expect), all bandaged up.  After working as a Nurse's Aide for several years, I knew the quickness of the surgery, the much longer incision and everything else wasn't a good sign, but I didn't have long to think about it as everyone showed up a few minutes later.  They were all in joyous mood that Gail was OK and back in her room all done having surgery.  I stepped back outside the room with the nurse when she left after doing her quick "check" on Gail.
I just came out and said what I was thinking and telling her how I knew it wasn't good.  I was certain they had found more "mass" than they figured and had just biopsied it and closed her back up.  She just patted me on the shoulder and hung her head and there were tears welling in her eyes.  I knew.I learned that the cancer indeed was very invasive, beginning in her colon and had spread to her liver and other areas of her body, as well.
Gail never went for further surgery, as a matter of fact, before she had even recuperated from the surgery, while she was still in the hospital, I began to notice that the whites of her eyes were turning yellow.  I asked the nurse about it saying that I again figured the cancer had gotten to her liver...and the nurse said that jaundice is often something people with serious cancer that has spread have.  Gail was in the hospital 9 days.When she left the hospital, she was in alot of pain and found it difficult to sit upright or to lay down on a bed. I went out to the LaZ-Boy store and bought her a recliner.  She was so pleased that within an hour after getting home, I arrived with the recliner and 2 guys that could carry it up to her place.  Gail had less than 2 glorious months sleeping and sitting in that recliner in front of her huge living room window.
Then in early June, she went to Hospice.
She spent less than 30 days there.
She was made comfortable and we could visit any time we wanted, day or night.  That was good, because I worked retail sales, sometimes 9am-9pm, 6 days a week.
On June 30th, I had already - a month or more in advance - made plans to move.  The relationship I was in for 2 years had disintegrated and I found myself a new apartment.  Early in the morning, I stopped at the Hospice and sat with my sister.  I massaged her favorite hand cream into her hands.  I applied her body lotion to her arms and legs.  Though she was in a coma, I knew she could hear me and she would know what I was doing...I just knew it.  I sang to her...some of the songs we sang together as teenagers.  I told her it was my moving day AGAIN.  Again?  Yes, again.  It was probably Move #35 or something like that and as her typical self, that nose of hers wiggled like she was always known to do.  I told you I knew she could hear me.  Then I said the hardest thing I've ever said, "I know you're tired and if you have to go before I come back to see you again, it's OK.  I understand.  We'll all be OK."  Then I kissed her and hugged her and walked out of her room.  I said good-bye to the nurses on my way out and told them I didn't think I'd see Gail alive again.  We all hugged.  I left.  
Then, as I was bringing the last box into my new apartment, the phone rang.  It was my youngest sister calling to tell me Gail had died.  The guys and my ex, who helped me move left.  And I just sat in the darkness of my new apartment til I fell asleep.
That night I had a dream of Gail walking in the park on the corner, across from my apartment.  I was with her and she was walking without pain, her face full of color, laughing and talking with me.  (I have no idea what she said, I just knew she was talking.)  She did tell me how good she felt and how happy she was to be pain-free.  We got to the pond, where I had to turn to go back home - she went the other way, waving at me.  When I woke up, I honestly could smell her perfume...something she hadn't worn since before she went to have her surgery.
I know she's in a better place - feeling good - being happy and no longer in pain.But, even 12 years later, I miss her.  ♥

Summer July 2012

The first time I wrote about my Garden was on June 2...Here it is July 2 and I thought it was time for a revisit!  Things have changed dramatically in the last month.  Even with the extreme heat and humidity, things are doing well - with watering every day there is not rain.  We love our flowers and water them...but we don't water the grass!  LOL!!  The BEFORE photos are from June 2 and the AFTER are from today! (well, I actually took the photos yesterday)...
The Annabelle Hydrangeas doing quite well, with huge flowers.  The Endless Summer Hydrangeas are all shades of

blue, pink and purple and extremely tall.  They are planted at ground level and stand about 4 1/2' tall and have overtaken half the sidewalk.

The Hostas have all been flowering...and are beginning to drop their flowers.

The first flowers in the wall are LaceCap Pink Hydrangeas and behind them are Lamb's Ears Hydrangeas.  The Endless Summer Hydrangeas sure have colored up in the last several weeks - and our Jasper & Benny love sitting in front of them for their photo op!!

The Top Right Photo is the Before of the Courtyard...the other 3 photos are the AFTER - and you can see just how big the Annabelle Hydrangea (and that's just ONE flower) is that I'm holding in my hand.  And, yes the grass in the courtyard is slightly brown from the lack of watering and the pups use that area, too.

These photos are all AFTER photos just to show greater detail.  And, of course, Rosie is perched at the top of the porch steps and beginning to bark and howl at me and my camera!  Silly girl.

More AFTER photos and of course, Jasper (above) and Benny (below).

And last but not least...the BEFORE and AFTER photos of both the Annabelle Hydrangea and the Queen Elizabeth Roses.

Looking Back...

Most of you have heard me say that we've been working on our Wall Garden...our CourtYard in the Front of our House...well, here are some NEW photos of it.  Our Garage Door is just to the right of the end of the sidewalk, so when you pull in our driveway, you can exit your car and take the sidewalk to the wrought iron gate and enter the courtyard.  Just make sure you take a good look at the Big Blue Hostas on your right and the Daylillies under the...
Aspen tree on your left.  You'll find a couple of 3-seat swings, tables, chairs and probably the PuppyKids'

Pool.  They love to play and run around in the courtyard.

The Hostas are about ready to Bloom!

The front edge of this wall has Lace-Cap Hydrangeas and then directly behind those are Little Lamb Hydrangeas.

Now, you're inside the courtyard.  I designed the courtyard and the flower walls and Tom built it.  We built it to keep our 3 pups in an enclosed area and to keep a particular neighbor out of our yard.  The year before we got our 1st pup, the neighbor was on our property with a lawn tractor and purposely ran me down with it, injuring me and scaring me to death.  The courtyard is a nice spot to rest and relax - and is approximately 1000 square feet of living space that we use alot.  Our pups love to run around out there and run up and down the steps.

On the left and the far back wall, there are 11 Annabelle Hydrangea plants.  In the separate planter on the right, by the porch and directly across from it on the left are 5 Queen of England Floribunda Rose Plants, with the softest, most pale shade of pink roses.

These are our Endless Summer Hydrangeas - they currently stand about 4 1/2' tall and I can not wait for them to blossom and have all those flowers open!!

The Queen Elizabeth Floribunda Roses

The Annabelle Hydrangeas - just beginning to open

And my newest Rose Plants - 6 of them - Traviata Hybrid Tea Rose!!  See all the petals?  Each rose has over 100 petals each.

**********

The following photos are from our first garden here...

Back in 2007, the Year we moved in here.

In another month or so, I'll be taking photos again...and will show the changes in our garden throughout the summer.

Thanks for taking visiting!  :)

Karaoke

BARBARA STREISAND - Evergreen
CARRIE UNDERWOOD - Look At Me
FAITH HILL - It matters to me, But I Will
GRETCHEN WILSON - I'd Love To Be Your Last
JO DEE MESSINA - Because You Love Me
KATHY MATTEA - Where have you been
MARTINA MC BRIDE - Independence Day, We've Got Tonight, If You Don't Know Me By Now, I Love You, My baby loves me
MARY MC GREGOR - Torn Between Two Lovers
MELISSA MANCHESTER - Through the Eyes of Love
MINDY MCREADY - Did I Shave My Legs for This, Maybe He'll Notice Her Now
OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN - I Honestly Love You, Hopelessly Devoted To You
PATTY LOVELESS - Blame It On Your Heart, Lonely Too Long, Chains
PATTY SMYTH - Sometimes Love Ain't Enough
PAULA ABDUL Straight Up
REBA - Read my mind, You Lie, I know How He Feels, Take it Back, Rumor Has It
SARA EVANS - No Place That Far
SHEENA EASTON - We've Got Tonight [Duet], When He Shines
TAYLOR DAYNE - Love will lead you back
WYNONNA My Strongest Weakness